Surprise your Love: Keeping your Relationship Fresh & Fascinating

In a world of constant demands and lost focus on what is truly important, there may be many reasons why your partner turns out to become your former partner. Lack of attention and appreciation for that special someone plays a big part in love gone sour.  Over time, the excitement of a new affectionate relationship becomes softened as individuals get used to their partner being around and develop a complacent, lack-of-attention attitude towards the other person.  After all, everybody gets busy and many times we end up taking the other person for granted; this is simply the reality of being human in the busy modern world.

As some time passes and your otherwise friendly relationship develops into full-blown romance, you start to share more about your personal lives, establishing a mutual trust and creating strong bonds in the relationship. However, it is also during this time that both of you finally walk-into the so-called “comfort zone,” when the excitements and surprises once experienced in the initial phases of the relationship dwindle into oblivion.  This is where you tend to expecting the other person will always be around like a pet. This leads to the tendency for a downward spiral where the couple becomes even more complacent and possibly entirely bored with the relationship.  When you see these patterns and attitudes start to develop, it is time for some well thought-out emergency-care steps for your relationship. 

Unfortunately, many people walk away from potentially great relationships simply because they think much of the excitement is over, fully believing the relationship is irredeemable. If they were to look a little closer, they may find that nothing is really wrong with the overall relationship. In fact, it is extremely common in almost every relationship to experience a degree of coldness where the partners become overly comfortable with each other.  As the old saying goes "familiarity breeds contempt." 

You may be at a point of disappointment and with little hope of reviving a once thrilling relationship, but with a little work, you can find new enjoyment once again. You can actually rekindle your romance and bring back much of the excitement as if you first beginning the dating process all over again.

How to Rekindle the Passion and bring the Thrill back

Believe it or not, paying closer attention to your love and working on initiating a few simple “surprises” may be all it takes to refuel and recharge your relationship to previous levels.

To some guys, habitual dating might be okay with them, but why start another relationship with all of the uncertainty and learning of another person's character and quirks when you can renew your existing one. Unfortunately, many men believe they somehow lose their manliness by being attentive and showing their emotions to their woman.  Men seem to be good starters, successfully convey their passionate feelings and connecting with the woman's emotions in the beginning stages of a relationship.  Men find it easy to bequeath attention and caring tenderness in the initial stages of a relationship, praising women with fancy words and putting in an extraordinary effort in winning the woman's heart. But along the way something happens, that primeval macho male rears its ugly head.  An "everything's fine" attitude leads to softening of the heart; they end up back in the same old boring patterns of living life without passion and without paying the proper attention to their partner.  As the couple finds themselves in the daily chores and demands of life, a tendency develops where they believe there is no longer a need for flattering words, special moments and get-away trips with one another.

Many men seem to become less expressive to their mate; they take for granted the woman's heart and daily need for encouragement and connection.  As a man becomes more familiar with the woman he tends to forget he needs to make every day, an exciting and new adventure for his love. Yet that doesn’t mean that the man cares any less about the woman, it's just his natural pattern of relationship complacency, not realizing "love" should be considered a verb requiring ongoing work and attention to survive.

Women in general, have been and will always remain a giant mystery as far as men are concerned. They can be absolutely quiet and without complaint, all the while, deep within, they are longing for attention, connection and some form of ongoing, renewed excitement in their relationship. Women many times want men to be unpredictable, spontaneous or at least able to make them feel their man still maintains that spark for them.  Even the simplest of attentive moments are important to a woman – they simply love men that can produce surprises leading to excitement, which in turn leads to fresh feelings of love and romance in the relationship.

So guys try not to disappoint your woman. Spice up your mundane, daily life with small and loving, unexpected surprises that will help to bring back the flame to your relationship.

When you are preparing to surprise your mate, you don’t have to hold-out until a special occasion rolls around. Life is too short, and most women want to celebrate life daily.  But before you decide to enter into the world of unexpected surprises, think before to acting. Dig deep into your past relationship; consider the special occasions and moments that meant the most to her and you as a couple.  Work off of the places, times and situations that left lasting imprints and were extraordinarily special to your woman's heart.  Most women are ready and waiting to welcome a surprise that comes from the heart, connects to the past, and builds towards the future – anywhere, anytime.

 A “surprise” may come in a form of a gift that says "remember when," but it doesn’t have to be a material object nor does it have to be expensive – time can be the most precious gift a man can give to his woman.  For those busy, working individuals, you can surprise your partner by spending some one-on-one quality time with that special someone on a regular basis – this may be as simple as an intimate and romantic drive to a spot of beauty or a meaningful short trip and dinner date to a favorite memorable special town or attraction.

Planning a random weekend vacation is quite pleasant, romantic and exciting; most partners will appreciate a spontaneous trip to the coast or a romantic mountain resort.  It is during this time where you can focus on and recall all the fond and special memories of your yester-dates that provide the catalyst to remind your mate of how you still care. These special trips help the relationship to develop, grow closer and more bounded.

Although a “surprise” comes in many shapes and sizes, all types of pleasant surprises revitalize and nourish relationships; reestablishing displays of romance and transforming the humdrum routine of day-to-day existence into an exciting celebration of your relationship.  

As a word of caution, women possess strong intuitions as to what's coming next.  It is not easy to surprise a woman, so it would be best if you know how to “surprise” your mate without giving away your plan in advance.

If women want men to create some air of mystery for them, women should realize that men also like surprises and ongoing exciting aspects to a relationship.  An unexpected specially prepared meal or romantic setting will add spice, break-up the routine and add excitement to a man's day. 

Women should look to keep their appearance for their man in check.  Men are visual creatures and respond to their woman's appearance many times over.  Buy a new outfit, get a new hairdo, or visit a lingerie shop to help keep the love embers burning.  Men like to feel proud of their woman and appreciate when they look nice while in public and in intimate settings.  A woman should remember she is the shining star in her love's eye and whenever possible, fix yourself to look exciting for your man.

The main thing for both men and women to remember is to have a plan that is out of the ordinary, setup something new and thrilling once in a while to keep the fun and excitement in your relationship.  Regardless of how long you’ve been together, keep your relationship fresh and fascinating.  But use your best imaginative and creative nature to gain an advantage in planning an unexpected and pleasant surprise.

Using the analogy of building a roaring campfire and keeping it going for the long, cold night ahead, relationships must be rekindled from time to time. When you build a fire, it initially burns hot and quick as paper and kindling ignites and burns easily and sets the long burning logs afire.  After the fire is started, your work does not end.  It is your job to stoke the fire from time to time in order to maintain it at maximum temperature and keep it from burning out.  Hopefully, the paper and kindling will successfully set fire to the logs and the ongoing attention to stoking will encourage it to continue burning evenly and consistently. Then you’re left with red glowing logs of coals that will steadily burn all night.

To elaborate further on the fire analogy, revive the excitement in your relationship, recall what type of kindling worked the best and the instruments you used to stoke the fire when you first met your mate.  Then get to work and toss some of the same kindling back on the logs and apply a little work at stoking.

Go back to the place where you spend your first time together and collect all the memories you can – and let those memories remind you of what caused you to fall in love with each other so very strongly.

Plan things randomly, passionately and with an air for romance, or else it will just be another routine day turning into another routine week turning into another routine month and year. Keep things exciting and fascinating each day of your relationship, think of all of the possible ways to surprise your partner.

About the Author: Custom written by Annalyn P. Posted June 12, 2011

The opinions expressed in the above article are solely those of the author. Dating Directory Review, its parent company and owners are not responsible for the use or application of these suggestions in any manner.